Ambassador Plumber*: or, Oh Good, That's What They've Been Missing

Zip up those pants, puppies - In It Not of It has a brand spanking new writer who goes by the name of Genghis, and he's a godless liberal (/gourmand); hide your children accordingly. 

In recent weeks I've been away from the US of A, and the first thing I like to do when I find myself in the outer reaches of "international-dom" is watch the news.  Nothing symbolizes vacation for me quite as much as CNN & BBC International.  Their priorities actually synchronize with mine, so I can switch off the analytical faculties of my brain for a bit and just consume instead of having to sift through what, at the end of the day, is about 90% data that wouldn't even impress at a proverbial cocktail party.  Like I said, vacation.

For example: When watching CNN in the States, I learned more about Governor Blagojevich than I care to know to this day.  I am concerned that a part of my brain is now irretrievably occupied with the knowledge that the man's first name is Rod and he jogs in a black tracksuit.  At the same time, had I stuck to taking my news solely through the TV, I would probably be completely ignorant of how our nation's enormous bailout package is being divvied up, or that the civilian population of the Ukraine is largely without heat due to a dispute with their neighbor, chubby Russia.  Why is the populace more interested in Rod's scandal in the face of all the other potential stories they could be discussing?  It's a curious blend of celebrity/pop journalism and Americentricism that now inhabits every porous second of a 24-hour news cycle nobody needed or asked for, and these are the sorts of questions I ask myself to stay on top of it.

Call me a cynic, but in that context it's almost nice to watch Gaza footage, considering the alternative is learning terribly useful things like the fact that Joe (who is actually Sam) the Plumber (which is apparently the new English word for "unemployed") is now a war correspondent for an internet-based news organization called Pajamas Media.

Somehow, I can't perceive Mr. Wurzelbacher's presence in Gaza as particularly welcome.  He claims that his "mission" is to commune with his "average Joe" peers and get their stories, but considering the fact that Israel has disallowed foreign press from entering Gaza, I fear those pedestrian tales with all be rather one-sided.  He also possesses a self professed Christian bent, which, in this writer's humble opinion, is precisely what the region needs: just one more religious nut to spice up the combustible stew that is Israel, sitting around, doing, for all intents and purposes, absolutely nothing.

One would hope that the average Joe's of the world might consider adopting "Humanitarian Aid Worker" as their occupational labels, but then one would be seriously underestimating the average Joe's desire to be seen on TV, which was how the U.S.'s fixation with monosyllabically christened menial laborers probably began in the first place.  There is also another discussion to be had about how the GOP's idea of "inexperience" figures into this little situation.  But we'll save that for a rainy day.
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*The irony does not escape me that in decrying the continuing proliferation of stories about Mr. Wurzelbacher, I have increased his media presence. Thus, in an effort to ensure that his celebrity stagnates, atrophies, and is amputated from the international subconscious as quickly as possible, I solemnly swear to never mention his name again, unless his is struck dead by firepower from which he claims to be quite confident his god will spare him - and I can assure you that such an occasion will merit a much shorter post.