Ambassador Plumber*: or, Oh Good, That's What They've Been Missing

Zip up those pants, puppies - In It Not of It has a brand spanking new writer who goes by the name of Genghis, and he's a godless liberal (/gourmand); hide your children accordingly. 

In recent weeks I've been away from the US of A, and the first thing I like to do when I find myself in the outer reaches of "international-dom" is watch the news.  Nothing symbolizes vacation for me quite as much as CNN & BBC International.  Their priorities actually synchronize with mine, so I can switch off the analytical faculties of my brain for a bit and just consume instead of having to sift through what, at the end of the day, is about 90% data that wouldn't even impress at a proverbial cocktail party.  Like I said, vacation.

For example: When watching CNN in the States, I learned more about Governor Blagojevich than I care to know to this day.  I am concerned that a part of my brain is now irretrievably occupied with the knowledge that the man's first name is Rod and he jogs in a black tracksuit.  At the same time, had I stuck to taking my news solely through the TV, I would probably be completely ignorant of how our nation's enormous bailout package is being divvied up, or that the civilian population of the Ukraine is largely without heat due to a dispute with their neighbor, chubby Russia.  Why is the populace more interested in Rod's scandal in the face of all the other potential stories they could be discussing?  It's a curious blend of celebrity/pop journalism and Americentricism that now inhabits every porous second of a 24-hour news cycle nobody needed or asked for, and these are the sorts of questions I ask myself to stay on top of it.

Call me a cynic, but in that context it's almost nice to watch Gaza footage, considering the alternative is learning terribly useful things like the fact that Joe (who is actually Sam) the Plumber (which is apparently the new English word for "unemployed") is now a war correspondent for an internet-based news organization called Pajamas Media.

Somehow, I can't perceive Mr. Wurzelbacher's presence in Gaza as particularly welcome.  He claims that his "mission" is to commune with his "average Joe" peers and get their stories, but considering the fact that Israel has disallowed foreign press from entering Gaza, I fear those pedestrian tales with all be rather one-sided.  He also possesses a self professed Christian bent, which, in this writer's humble opinion, is precisely what the region needs: just one more religious nut to spice up the combustible stew that is Israel, sitting around, doing, for all intents and purposes, absolutely nothing.

One would hope that the average Joe's of the world might consider adopting "Humanitarian Aid Worker" as their occupational labels, but then one would be seriously underestimating the average Joe's desire to be seen on TV, which was how the U.S.'s fixation with monosyllabically christened menial laborers probably began in the first place.  There is also another discussion to be had about how the GOP's idea of "inexperience" figures into this little situation.  But we'll save that for a rainy day.
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*The irony does not escape me that in decrying the continuing proliferation of stories about Mr. Wurzelbacher, I have increased his media presence. Thus, in an effort to ensure that his celebrity stagnates, atrophies, and is amputated from the international subconscious as quickly as possible, I solemnly swear to never mention his name again, unless his is struck dead by firepower from which he claims to be quite confident his god will spare him - and I can assure you that such an occasion will merit a much shorter post.

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Joe the Plumber Gets A Book Deal

Now if you remember well or have back tracked and read this blog you would see that I made this prediction. Although my usual cockiness wants to supersede my class and allow me to be like "Bla Daw! I said it first!", I will restrain myself. Not because I'm growing up and are leaving those childish antics alone (not that at all) but because, you would have to be dumb to not get a book deal after the happenings of the October 15th debate.



And Joe the Plumber is not dumb; he's very ignorant but he's not dumb.

Joe isn't going to use one of those big labels to either to publish under; he's gonna help out the little guy and spread the wealth. He says, and I quote, "I am not going to a conglomerate that way we actually can get the economy jump started. Like there is five publishing companies in Michigan. There's a couple down in Texas. They are small ones that can handle like 10 or 15,000 copies. I can go to a big one that could handle a million or two. But they don't need the help. They are already rich. So that's spreading the wealth to me," (Got that quote from here). And I'm down with all of that until he tries to justify it with the spread the wealth bs.

And I promise that I didn't make that cover up myself on Microsoft Paint. Unfortunately, that is the actual tentative book cover.

The book is slated for a December 1st drop date. That's in less than two weeks. I wonder with Joe had this book already written, trying to get famous one day and just drop it. To my knowledge, the hardest part of dropping a book is getting the publisher business settled. I doubt the plumber sat down recently and banged the whole thing out. But who knows, maybe the plumber is smarter than we all think.

Oh, and if any of you read it, let me know if it's worth reading a wikipedia summary on.


two times.

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